Sequel to this post
- "Sent from my iPhone" Guy—Seriously, you can't figure out how to delete the ad from every single email you've sent me in the last five years? Ask a Millennial for help.
- Millennials—Oh, sure, a lot of 'em are my friends. And they all expend 10,000 calories a day talking about their triggers and complaining about income inequality instead of, you know, working. Don't you dare correct them in a meeting. That's bullying. They are the experts on this topic; they are the Bullied Generation. I just hope I'm dead before these pussies surrender the country to China, just to prove how racist they aren't.
- "DROOOOOID" guy—This is the guy who uses the grating "DROOOOOID!" sound as his incoming mail sound. My server in a Chinese restaurant was guilty of this last week, and the brother gets a lot of mail. Each occurrence had me gripping my fork tighter than the last. The Chinese waiter torture.
- Gives out my email to marketers guy—This is usually a family member, so it's a bit of a cheat, as I'd already pay up to $7500 to avoid speaking to them. I'll get an email from Spams Plus saying "Nadine thought you would be interested in polka-dotted whale lamps!" And then I'll get 30,000 more until the end of time. 100,000 if I click the "Unsubscribe" link.
- "Richard Sherman isn't stupid, stupid. He went to Stanford!" guy—Two attempts at the SAT. Neither achieved half the Stanford average. Stupidity is officially on the table.