Some phrasing has struck me as odd this week. First, a relative told me "You're so smart" unironically, which is a first.
The next day, I said "I'm texting my ex's kid" to gathered friends, realizing only after I saw their confusion just how strange that sentence sounds to most people. It would soon be trumped.
The kid and I ended up talking on the phone a bit later, and I gave her permission to eat candy before bed. She handed the phone to Allie, and a minute later I overheard the following conversation:
"Hey! What are you doing? I told you to put the candy away!"
"John said I could."
"What John says doesn't count," Allie said, and for a moment I thought I'd traveled back in time to when we were dating.
"John's a responsible adult."
"WHAT. I MEAN. DUR. WHAT. OH GOOD GOD." Allie sputtered and laughed in that exasperated, punch-drunk way people laugh after they have heard an argument so preposterous, it actually nuked their synapses. She gathered herself. "Your sentence has never been said before in the history of the English language."