hollywood intervention: sports programming

Dear Networks,

How are ya.

Announcers
Know what I love best about seeing games in person? You can't guess from that headline, there? Right. In a stadium, I am not captive to the wit and wisdom of whatever mush-mouthed former General Studies major you just hired. (Which isn't to say he ever got his degree in General Studies, mind you.) There are but a few play-by-play guys who add value to the broadcast. There are fewer color guys. I humbly submit that rather than hire people who are below bar, you simply let us listen to the stadium announcer. Save yourself a few shekels. Save us from hearing Phil Simms say "What this team needs now is to drive down the field."

hollywoodint.jpgWeird angles
You love the ground-level view. I love it, too. But I decidedly do not love it during live action. On a goal line stand, I do not want the right tackle's back blocking my view of the ball. On a ground ball, I do not want the first baseman's back blocking my view of the ball. Ground-level view is for replays. Likewise with the end-zone/baseline view. The standard viewing angles were settled upon for a reason; the other angles suck bilgewater.

Cutaways
There's one thing worse than you using weird angles, and that's you cutting to one in the middle of a live play. Seriously, what are you on? Why not just suddenly obstruct my view with a lens cap? It couldn't be any worse.

Centering
This is directed at CBS' football coverage. Stop centering the camera on the ball. I need to see the defensive secondary. I decidedly don't need to see the rolling waves of empty grass behind the QB where the fullback used to be.

Graphics
If you want to have the stupid yellow and blue lines for those who can't do base-10 math, fine. But is it too much to ask that the down and distance be visible? When you superimpose it on the same field that the players run around on, guess what happens to its visibility? Please make the down and distance and play/shot clock at least as omnipresent as your goddamned network logo.

Tolerance,
John