Ohio State players get a pin each time they beat Michigan. The pin is a little pair of gold pants. Players recently traded these pins for free tattoos, leading media commentators to morally equate them with Miami players who accepted gifts of whores and subsequent abortions.
I tell you this not because I'm bitter but because this knowledge is needed for today's post. You see, I heard my first Penn State joke.
Q: What's the difference between Ohio State and Penn State?
A: At Ohio State, the scandal is gold pants. At Penn State, it's kids' pants.
Presumably a whole team of the world's brightest humorists slaved all night, wordsmithing that one. More child-rape jokes, please. We can't get enough.
On what planet is this even marginally okay, let alone funny?