come to think of it, i'd like to change my first answer

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For the billionth time this year, give or take a googolplex, I was at a doctor's office. I've become a usability snob. For instance, don't leave your sign in front of the wrong building and then act like the problem is me. "We haven't been there for a year," sniffed the receptionist. Ah. Yes. Of course. I don't know how I ever messed that up.

That office's streak continued with one of the worst forms I've ever been made to fill out. I was already annoyed by having six inches to write "John" and then a quarter inch to write my address when they asked me to rate the pain on a scale from 0-10 and then gave me a scale from 1-5.

"Describe your chief complaint," they went on.

"Lately, it's people using their phones in movie theatres. And I don't just mean the texters. I see people actually taking calls. They're like, 'Not much. Watchin' a movie. What you doing?'"

"Emergency contact?"


"Type of relationship?"