Imagine opening a web page and it taking 50 seconds to load. Now imagine that you were paid to set that page up. Now imagine that you paid someone else $1000 to solve any such issues. Now imagine that they shined a flashlight on it, shrugged, and stopped answering your emails. Now imagine feeling their neck tendons snap in your hands.
God knows I have.
Last year I bought forum software and extra support its developer. They shrugged. Desperate, I ended up splitting the forums across eight minuscule pages just to solve the issue, a hack that understandably did not delight my client.
Yesterday, the developer wrote to see if I'd like to pay another $1000 for an additional year of his fine, fine support. I said no. And then a miracle happened. He pushed back.
He sees that I'm running multiple forums, not just one. The support license I purchased is just for one, so no wonder that level of support failed. What I need to purchase is the more expensive "farm" license. That's when all blood vessels in my head burst.
I'm trying to compose my response. "So what you're saying that the kluge I implemented out of desperation after your lack of support is, in fact, not supported and therefore the cause of your failure that predated its existence?" is kind of wordy. I'm pretty happy with "Dear Fucker of Mothers," though.