the final insult

  • Posted on
  • by

For my last night in DC, I stayed in a motel near the airport. As I checked in, the staff was bantering and bickering, and the cute clerk was trying to browbeat the maid into working her day off. It was a lively work scene, and I joined right in. I implored the maid not to cave in to the guilt trips.

The clerk made a point of telling me later that she had prevailed.

"She caved?!" I said. "Why?!"

"I'm...just...that...cute!" she chirped. "I get my way. A lot."

I groaned and wrinkled my face in disgust. "No one's that cute."

"I am."

"No. You're really not."

The clerk eyed me for a moment. "OK, I'll prove it," she said with a sly smile. She amped up the wattage. She was absolutely luminous. "You should ask me out tonight."

Uh. No.

"C'mon," she said, smiling and batting her enormous Disney-character brown eyes.

A man can only take so much. We are not practiced at turning down cute twice. Once was a modern male miracle. So I took the bait.

"OK. "Wanna go out tonight?"

She broke eye contact and went back to work. "Nah. You're way too old for me."