the dumb one

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Of my two dogs, Fredo is known as "the dumb one." Sure, he's charming when you meet him. He's a happy, friendly dog. He seemingly swats at swarms of hornets with his tail. But he's also the one who wags happily when I'm yelling at him for the abomination on the kitchen floor, the one who pees on his sister, the one who after three years has yet to learn that I need to open the car's hatchback before he can jump in.

Fredo taught me that there are owners who root against their pet, and that I am one of them. I take a special delight when my deck freezes over and I see the little moron faceplant on his way to the yard, then, having no understanding of what just happened, faceplant on his way back inside.

"You idiot!" I cackled this morning as he wiped out three times in rapid succession. Seconds later, my own feet shot out from under me and I fell hard to the deck. It was the damnedest thing.