In my 11 years in Metamuville, I've gotten zero trick-or treaters and 22 visits from the Jehovah's Witnesses. I know this because, like family bitching about one another, they show up every six months precisely. Doubtlessly Metamuville is targeted because of all the old farts running out the clock.
So when it became necessary to hang a "don't knock" sign outside my door—my dogs are constantly being set off during work meetings—I also fired a warning shot.
Place your bets now. Will they be deterred by either sentence?
