I am, or at least I was, a decent athlete. Skill-wise, I'm capable but nothing special, mostly because I'm slower than election season. Football, basketball, soccer, racquetball, volleyball...I played them all and won my share.
But oh, baseball. My nemesis.
Yeah, I'm slow. I have a pansy throwing arm. I somehow manage to hit to the shortstop no matter how I change my stance, including batting left-handed. One time my streak was something like 20 at-bats in a row hit to the shortstop. He was actually visibly agitated when I stepped up to the plate. I don't know what percentage of the time I've been on base were due to shortstop error, but if someone told me it was in the 90s, I wouldn't argue. Clearly, this pattern sucks in games. But man, I'm awesome to have around during fielding practice.
As I alluded last week, my biggest liability is not understanding the nuances of the game, at least not without thinking it through. As a kid, I played baseball only in gym class, and I never watched it on TV. Nothing is instinctive. So when I'm fielding a ball, I have to either 1) pause for 20 seconds and think through my options or 2) throw it and take my medicine. Both choices have a tendency to enrage teammates and delight opponents.
"AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!" shrieks every teammate I've ever had, as soon as the ball leaves my hand.
Tennis, anyone?