The good part of owning your own business is employing your friends.
The bad part of owning your own business is that strangers in Omaha cold-call you.
Him: "Hello, is this the owner of Island of Misfit Toys, Inc.?"
Me, already contemplating suicide: "Yes."
"Hello sir my name is [I stopped listening] and I want to [not real sure] mwah mwah mwah mwah blah blah blah help you grow your business!"
Meh. Why on earth would I want to grow my business? The very thought makes me absent-mindedly scratch hives. What, is he going to invent an eighth day of the week so I can work that, too?
"I am so not interested in growing my business," I say.
This always confuses them, and I'm not sure why. I can feel them parsing their reply-matrix for the appropriate response, but none is there. Surely I'm not the only business owner who feels he works hard enough?
"Well, like, your website could do a lot better job of selling your services." No kidding. My public-facing website is a picture of a nut. No links, no content.
"That's because we do not advertise or solicit work."
Parse, parse, parse. Nothing.
"Oh. Um. Okay," said the last guy, giving up without much of a fight. And I went back to work.
Scratch, scratch, scratch.