I gave away a hammock and its stand on CraigsList over the weekend. I swear, I could list it for $1 and not get a single response. As it happens, I listed it for free and watched a parade of freaks traipse through my Inbox. I go back and forth on whether these people are stupid or mentally ill.
"I really want it, will you deliver to [town 45 minutes away]?""will you trade for shotgun worked last year doesn't work now"
"I'm in Portland. Will you meet me in Olympia with it?" [Olympia is a two hour drive]
"I'm in Metamuville, too. :) :) I would love the hammock. :) :)"
This last bouquet of smileys came from a woman who used to work at the Metamuville store and who always treated me approximately like I had once taken a dump in her lobster bisque. I happily took the opportunity to tell her off.
Fascinated by the pathologies on display, I took to googling my ad's respondents. My favorite was present at a murder just a couple of weeks ago. Pass. As for all the other freaks?
"I'm surprised it was still available," said the polite guy who sent me the 41st email about the hammock and who drove it away in his own truck.
"Have you ever listed something for free on CraigsList?" I replied. He had not.
Ah.