bad santa

"It's John," I heard Katrina answer her six year old. Then I heard the child ask to be put on speakerphone.

Click.

"Hi?" I said.

"I WANT A PET SNAKE!" the child shrieked to the one person she knows who will not hesitate to provide just such a thing.

"And I want you to have a pet snake, honey. What's the matter, Mommy won't buy you one? Do you want me to just buy one and give it to you as a present?"

"YES! AND—"

Click.

"Jesus!" said a bewildered Katrina. The entire exchange between her child and me had taken less than five seconds.

Uncle John: the Make an Evil Wish Foundation.