wakeup call

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I awoke this morning to a phone call from young Darcy.

Oh shit, I thought as I sleepily looked at who was calling at that hour.

"Hi!" she said cheerfully.

Oh shit! I am so not sending her any cash!

"So....I have something to tell you that you're not going to like," she said, not 10 seconds into the call.

Oh shit! She's pregnant! Or she's workin' the pole. Or possibly she's pregnant while workin' the pole.

"Yes..?" I managed weakly.

Turns out she's once again dating the douche who used her a few months back but who wouldn't leave his girlfriend for her but who, now that said girlfriend has dumped him, is stunningly available. I contemplated this as much as I could muster.

"Whoa!" she said nervously. "I was ready for anything from you other than complete silence! What does silence mean?"

Not caring, mostly. But how to best say that?

"Not caring, mostly."

Turns out that wasn't how to best say that.