STANK

In the mid-90s, I taught college courses in critical thinking. That's a fancy-pants term for "recognizing shit arguments." Since then, of course, the web has exploded, and so has the shit. I look at my textbook from 15 years ago and the examples of poor argumentation make me absolutely nostalgic for the smarter stupidity of yesteryear. Witness, for example, the difference between fact and opinion:

FACT - Spinach contains iron
OPINION - Americans should eat more spinach.

How quaint is that example? How civil? In an age when any article about Carrie Underwood's engagement yields comments about the inauthenticity of Obama's birth certificate, how convincing is that "poor" example? Makes me want to go scarf my weight in spinach right now.

I can't even imagine modern 20 year-olds being able to wrap their heads around the subtle spinach thing. Not in the world in which they grew up. I'd have to dumb down all the examples in their textbook.

Ad hominem

Attacking the person and not addressing their argument

Then: "His arguments might impress us more if he didn't have false teeth."

Now: "Baaa! Your such a stupid sheap. Baaaaaa! "

Bandwagon

Saying that everyone's thinking this, so you should too

Then: "Everyone else is cheating, so why shouldn't I?"

Now: "EVERYONE knows Bush was behind the 9/11 attacks so that he could invade the Iraq and take it's gas. EVERYONE!"

Slippery slope

If one thing is allowed, it will only be the first step in a downward spiral

Then: "Handgun control will lead to a police state."

Now:

Begging the question

An assertion that restates the point just made

Then: "He is lazy because he doesn't like to work."

Now: (Not applicable. The phrase "this begs the question" has come to mean "I'm going to interject a question that isn't relevant to anything said here, but it's what I want to talk about instead.")

Red herring

Dodging the real issue by drawing attention to something irrelevant

Then: Why worry about a few terrorists when we ought to be doing something about acid rain?

Now: "Your all afraid of the TRUTH so all you do is repeat the LAMESTREAM MEDIA and there LIES."

False analogy

Saying that because two things are alike in some ways, they're alike in others

Then: "Since the books are about the same length, one is just as good as the other"

Now: "It's Obama's Katrina!"

False dilemma

Saying that there are only two choices

Then: "We must either build more nuclear power plants or be completely dependent on foreign oil."

Now: (Sorry, I started wishing we'd built those nuke plants after all. What were we talking about?)

Non sequiter

Statement that doesn't follow from what was just said

Then: "Billy is honest, therefore, he will get a good job."

Now: "FIRST!"