Have you ever watched a sporting event on TV, seen vacant premium seats, and wondered how on earth they remained unused? I know I have. And now I understand the reason.
Tonight at the Mariners' home opener, when on TV you see two empty seats immediately behind home plate, consider it a monument to my worth. I know I will.
Ditto the empty reserved table at her favorite restaurant, which never, ever takes reservations. And the empty limo that would have driven our inebriated selves home. And the empty space in my head that paid for these things in advance.