I was standing with two friends when Dorkass called. I answered my phone as I have on this occasion for 11 years.
"Dork."
A wounded Blondage turned to the other friend. "Well. I thought I was the dork," she sniffed.
Dorkass overheard. "I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS, BUT TELL HER TO BACK THE HELL OFF, 'CAUSE I'M THE ORIGINAL AND ONE AND ONLY DORK."
Yep. These are my friends.
A recent visit with Dorkass included a ritual with which I'm very familiar: my friend disappearing in order to put her spawn to bed. What made this occasion special were the twin presences of 1) a baby monitor and 2) my phone's recording app.
Here's Dorkass, taking away her child's "Lovey" in order to extort cooperation. Ladies and gentlemen, Stank is very proud to present to you its Mother of the Year.