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Responses to the beautiful ex survey ran the gamut from "Hell no, it doesn't bother me. I'm here and she's history" to "I'm here and she's history. Hell no, it doesn't bother me."

Okay, so there were a few fringe votes. And there were the obligatorily baffling, misspelled "What question do they think they're answering?" responses. But the "hell nos" were the overwhelming majority. And the timbre of the explanations did gibe with my own notions, although that could just be observer bias on my part.

I love women. Adore them. Predicated my entire life around them. I especially adore them when I compare them to the alternative, for whom I have no use beyond mowing my lawn. But collectively, and quite easily, womankind's least attractive quality is how they treat one another. Sister-on-sister crime is relatively rampant—men simply don't knife one another for sport like this—and it's this perception that led me to this hypothesis: she likes having beautiful predecessors because it means she "beat" them.

I will now pause to allow the knives to fly. Tell me I'm wrong. Please.