"I could never date a sports fan."
—Darcy, Seattle native
Seatards are very proudly not sports fans. You're just not a local until you whine endlessly about the public funding of the football stadium. That the "public" part of the stadium's funding comes exclusively from taxes on sports stuff is immaterial. We're good electric-bus loving liberals here, and the utter imbecility of our argument is immaterial, too.
Sports taxes paying for sports? Poppycock. That Seahawk jersey surcharge could be better spent on biofuels.
At work, at dinner, at parties, on the street, pretty much everywhere but in the stadiums, you have to hear these preening twits hold forth about the immorality of sports. There is one especially irritating exception.
"I only watch soccer," they sniff with superiority, as if they're reading Tolstoy to my Dave Barry. "It's a beautiful game."
"Name two players. Any in the world will do," I reply.
It's a good thing no one's ever tried to answer, 'cause I sure wouldn't know if they were lying.