things i learned from reading jerome bettis' book

  1. Books seem less heavy if you lower your arms below the surface in the hot tub.
  2. If you're on page 12 and you grab 45 pages and turn them all at once, you avoid a bunch of really boring crap.
  3. For someone who doesn't mean offense, Bettis sure says "No offense to so-and-so" a lot.
  4. Bettis set a Super Bowl record for bear hugs given and received.
  5. Books seem even less heavy if you lower them into the water altogether.