cruising tunes

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I've had this post loitering around for a while. I've been unable to finish it. It started out as an attempt to list my top ten favorite songs to play when driving, but creating a list smaller than 80 just became brutal. I know it starts with the Commodores' "Machine Gun," but then it gets hard. So instead, I'm going to list the songs guaranteed to enrage me when I'm stuck in traffic.

"Don't Worry Be Happy," Bobby McFerrin - Yeah, I know you hate it too, but it's actually inspired me to kick a car stereo so hard that I got my foot stuck in the resulting hole. Any list has to begin here.

"I Can See Clearly (now, the rain is gone)," Johnny Nash - The song that inspired this list. Ever wonder how some crap got on your iPod to begin with?

"High Five," Beck - It's like rusty drill-bit boring into my skull at 7 RPM. Although I echo the sentiment, I never make it to the part where the guy yells "Turn that shit off!"

"Slip Slidin' Away," Paul Simon - I haven't heard it since I moved to the Northwest, but every DJ back East thinks it's hi-larious to play this moldy oldie whenever it snows. A justifiable homicide in seven states.

"Hot Fun in the Summertime," Sly & the Family Stone - The opposite song. Oh, isn't it amusing to play this during gridlock on a sweltering summer day?

"When You Dream," Barenaked Ladies - A saccharine lullaby doth not exactly soothe the savage driver. It's salt in an open wound. This song once actually made me nod off behind the wheel. Driving drunk has nothing on driving unconscious.

"You Are the Sunshine of my Life" and "Overjoyed," (tie) Stevie Wonder - This could have been any number of Stevie's schlocky latter-day offenses, but these two aren't as obvious as "Ebony and Ivory" and "I Just Called."