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"What the Fucking Fuck?" awards 

  pat robertson

Pat Robertson on Chavez, yesterday:

"If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability."

Pat Robertson to his viewers, today:
"I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out.' 'Take him out' could be a number of things, including kidnapping. There are a number of ways of taking out a dictator from power besides killing him. I was misinterpreted by the AP, but that happens all the time. So that I may better combat such media slanders, please send me large bundles of cash in nonsequential bills."

(Okay, I so made up the last sentence, but no more than the rest was made up.)