mr. congeniality

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I made a Greenpeace volunteer cry today. Well, she teared up, anyway.

She was standing on my front porch, her voice nervously cracking as she went through her speech. She eventually, inevitably asked for a donation.

"How do I know you're really from Greenpeace?" I asked. She stopped petting Fredo for a second and pointed to her Greenpeace hat and shirt.

"But I guess anyone could buy these..." she trailed off, dejected.

"I'll tell ya what. I'll try to stab Fredo, and you throw your body in front of him."

Cue the waterworks.