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Last Thursday, I was driving in a straight line when a car suddenly pulled across my path. If that sounds familiar, it's probably because it happened in September, too. This isn't to be confused with the boulder that destroyed my Jeep in December, necessitating the purchase of the car which met its end Thursday.

My driving record enjoyed 27 years of nothing, but that was followed by three accidents and two totallings in seven months. All caught by my dash cam, which I bought eight months ago.

Florid Stank Troll John was the first to suggest causality. He would not be the last. Many have chimed in: it's the dash cam's fault. "You should give it to someone you hate," said my boss, Sal.

I walked into the same dealership I entered not four months ago. The same salewoman spotted me. "Do you hate the car I sold you that much?"

"I'm returning it. It's defective," I said, showing her the photos of the totaled car.

"What is it with you?"

What indeed.