From almost the first day of my career, talking to corporate marketers has made me long for the sweet release of death. The worst was a man named BJ at Microsoft, with whom I battled on multiple and impossibly unrelated products over a decade. When we crossed paths a fourth time, we both heaved an audible sigh. "Oh, so you've met," his boss said.
My current boss, Sal, and I just met with some marketing twinkies. Clearly, it was not my idea. They kinda explained what they wanted, and I explained what was possible and legal, and they did not understand. I took another run at it. They did not understand. Sal tried to explain. Nope. If anything, they were getting stupider. The marketing boss said something vomitously dumb, followed by "But that's why I have smart people working for me. To figure stuff like this out."
"Who are these people?" I asked. "And can we get them on this call?"
Sal has a great pained, breathy, exasperated "John..." in his repertoire. It sounds very much like an exasperated girlfriend or mother. I really need to record it. This was such an occasion.