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For the last week, I've been both carless and homeless. I walked to Walmart in a freezing rain so that I could buy a poncho so that I could more comfortably walk in freezing rains.

Yep, it's quite the life I've carved out for myself.

I am now with car again, and when the Jeep is towed away today, life will begin to return to normal—meaning mere homelessness. Getting the replacement vehicle meant dealing with car salesmen, no one's favorite demographic. It's amazing how they so consistently begin every conversation with "Say John, what do you do for a living?" Such a curious, caring people.

I looked at a sedan about which I was pretty meh, all the more so when I learned that it was not all-wheel drive. Undeterred, my salesman, Cooter P. McNugget, dismissed my desire for AWD as silly. When I would not be dissuaded, he argued for literally every AWD on his lot. I said I wanted to get some breakfast and do some research. "Where ya going?" he said, and I stupidly told him. Sure enough, he showed up at the restaurant and plopped at my table, filibustering to inhibit my research.

I glared at him. "I need you to fuck off."

"Okay, okay, heh heh heh, I'll just sit over here. There's no need to be like that, heh heh heh!"

"There is apparently every need," I said, gathering my laptop and leaving. I could feel the rage veins in my forehead pulsating. Does this guy ever make a sale?

The best part of having since purchased a car is no longer having to shop for cars.

• • •

Here's an endorsement of the CarMax buying experience. They're consistently priced under the traditional dealerships, and the price is the price. No negotiations. It's an amazing difference. It was a polite, professional transaction very much like buying a pair of shoes.