things i'll miss about pittsburgh, part nulla

Today I learned that the Romans didn't have a numeral for "zero." They just used the word for "nothing."

This morning I left the house without my phone, which meant I was at the mercy of the Pittsburgh FM dial. In an hour's time, I heard one song recorded after 1985. It was recorded in 1993.

That station played "Last Dance for Mary Jane, "I Heard It from the Grapevine," "Take Another Piece of my Heart," and some Christian song—oh, let's say it was called "Hey Jesus Your [sic] So Fine Your [sic] So Fine You Blow My Mind Hey Jesus! J-E-S-U-S! Hey Jesus!" They played those songs back to back. I humbly submit that there is no audience on the planet for that song block.

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