this week in vomitous stupidity

Idiocy Cost
Saturday
Took dogs to park. Lost my wallet somewhere between the car and the gate. I have no driver's license, no insurance card, no credit card, no cash until Monday.
-$350 cash

-$75 for replacement parking pass

-$20 for replacement driver's license

Sunday
Dropped iPad on concrete, shattering it beyond repair.
-$850
Sunday
Lost prescription sunglasses during walk home from Steelers debacle.
-$360
Monday morning
Creditless, went to bank and got $1000 cash. Promptly lost money clip.
-$1000 cash

-$250 money clip

Monday morning
Go to Lenscrafters to get new sunglasses. Between Lenscrafters and home, promptly lose my regular glasses.
-$420
Monday afternoon
Stupidly change DNS settings on critical business server that I usually manage from a networked machine, then realize that I have no compatible monitor within 2200 miles. Hello, Amazon Prime.
-$140 new monitor

-$12 cable

-$5.99 for overnight shipping

Monday night
Found money clip in crevice of car. Holy fucking hell on a stick. Time to buy 1,250 lottery tickets.
+$1250
Total cost of stupidity vortex $1812.99
plus all remaining self-respect