a bear actually walked into a bar

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The long-threatened trip to a bear bar took place last night. As Mike and I were about to enter the establishment in Seattle's gay district, I paused under the rainbow flag to put on surgical gloves.

"Okay, I'm ready."

"You dick. I am not taking a punch for you."

I took the gloves off.

I regret to inform the readership that no drinks were sent to my table. So it's official: there is no demographic on the planet to whom I am attractive.

I did attract my share of stares from fat, hairy guys, especially when Mike left me alone. They weren't making eye contact. It was like I was some oddity they were trying to figure out. They stared unblinkingly and without care. Guys are creepy. How do women put up with this 24/7?

"It helps to be attracted to them," says Allie.