Dear gays,
Now that you can marry—and you're welcome, please leave your thank yous in my guestbook—it's time for a little quid pro quo. We straights want something back.
You took the term gay. It used to mean very happy. When the Flinstones promised us a gay old time, it was nothing like the celebrations on Castro after the SCOTUS ruling last night. You took this word over and ruined it, but we still have happy and delightful, so I have bigger fish to fry.
The same is true with the rainbow symbol. It's yours now, at least until the day when Oreo actually makes those gay rainbow Oreos. Then it's on, skinny bitches. Don't get between a fat guy and that Oreo.
I think we can agree that I've given a little and am now entitled to get a little.
In short, I want the word queer back. It's an irreplaceable verb. "If you queer this deal for me, so help me..." Nothing works as well. In fact, I never stopped using the word as a verb, and I get glared at by people who suspect I just committed a hate crime.
I humbly request that you stop queering queer. It's the least you can do now that I've given up my special rights to marry.
john