The first time I was kicked out of CCD, otherwise known as "Catholic Sunday school on Wednesday night," otherwise known as "despair's event horizon," was by Sister Mary.
"Everyone sins," she said.
"Even the Pope?" someone asked.
"Everyone sins except the Pope," she amended.
What the fuck? My 12 year old self thought. I mean, what the fucking fuck?
"But he wasn't always the Pope," I said. "Most of his life he was just...a guy!"
"EVERYONE SINS EXCEPT THE POPE AND ALL LIVING FUTURE POPES!" she fumed, changing the subject. I'm not sure why she took it out on me. Oh, right. I was the class dick. That.
Now that we have an ex-Pope, I wonder what new rule of papal infallibility Sister Mary would fabrica—er, cite. And if, as I suspect she would say, he remains a non-sinner, what a get-out-of-jail-free card he possesses! He could snort coke off preteen hookers and get a heavenly pass.
I tell you, you can't make this shit up.