I was reading my hometown newspaper when I saw a link: "Local coach arrested."
Please be Micky, please be Micky, please be Micky, I thought. I clicked the link. It was Micky.
When I was a freshman in high school, Micky ruled the school. He was a senior and the school's undisputed, swaggering king. A football star and a lunkhead, he was also our Biff Tannen. We all hated, feared, and wanted to be him. Why did we want to be him? Because he was boinking the hottest girl in school, Bianca. Oh, how we all wanted her. It was a certainty. Those naughty-pretty looks, that game-show hostess body....pubescent boys were going to be unanimous on Bianca's virtues. She haunted our collective dreams.
This being the midwest, she married Micky right after high school.
Back to that link. After high school, Micky became a lunkhead health teacher/football coach at a nearby suburb. His arrest was due to alleged mutual domestic violence between him and Bianca a few weeks ago. The article also mentioned that they're getting a divorce. Good stuff.
I went to their Facebook pages to see what else I might find, and that's when I saw it.
I got no sleep that night.