WWYK: "i only watch soccer" guy vs. "get in the hole!" guy

Okay, I've made out my bracket. Together, we're going to decide who on earth most deserves to be offed.

"I Only Watch Soccer" Guy. There exists a female variant, but I'm old school enough to think talking about killing women rude. If this guy were content to only watch soccer, we wouldn't have a beef with him. But what he really enjoys is saying he only watches soccer, usually in response to you mentioning some other sport. "Yes," you reply. "I've always thought what American football really needs is more fan deaths, flopping and nil-nil matches." He's a close cousin of "I Don't Own a TV" Guy, who also lives life waiting impatiently for a chance to say that sentence.

"GET IN THE HOLE!" Guy. It started out with putts and short chip shots. Tiger Woods would plunk the ball toward the hole, and some idiot in the gallery would scream "GET IN THE HOLE!" I know. Me neither. Then it entered its ironic phase, where Tiger will be teeing up on a par 5 and someone screams ironically "GET IN THE HOLE!" Ha, ha. You're very witty. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Wow, you're not tired of that yet?

WINNER: "I Only Watch Soccer" Guy. Means of execution: strangling with his own vintage t-shirt.