damaged goods

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Kiki was telling me all about her cool friend who's recently become available. The friend is that rarity of rarity in these parts: a single, educated, professional woman who isn't the prosecuting attorney at my arraignment. Nevertheless, I couldn't muster any interest.

Sensing this, Kiki added "And John, she's really beautiful."

I blanched. "All that means is that she'll fuck someone else even faster."

Everyone stared at me—some actually standing under a mistletoe—both appalled and wondering how they could possibly rebut what seems an irrevocable law of nature.