Dorkass and I were engaged in a covert op too stupid for me to admit to here, but it involved sneaking into work at night and snooping around the office of my mercurial, on-again/off-again girlfriend. At this point, said girlfriend and I had been off for several months.
I was rummaging for a pilfered article when I found them: prenatal vitamins.
Time stood still. It was like I'd discovered a positive pregnancy test in the trash, only with decidedly less room for interpretation. I stood hunched over the drawer, staring at the bottle. Dorkass wandered over and stared at them too. Then at me. Then at them.
"Ohhhh," she said. "Girls take those to strengthen their nails and hair." Well, that was unusually helpful information. No shot at me or anything? "Really stupid, vain little girls who read nothing but Cosmopolitan." Ah.