poll: does susie have cancer?

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What I mostly remember from my graduate-level Economics class at Ohio State was a cascading series of oh nos.

John, realizing that he had to take a graduate-level Econ class: "Oh no."

John, walking into the summer class and seeing 400 Japanese students and one empty chair. "Oh no!"

John, reading the syllabus and determining that yes, this class would be graded on a curve: "Oh no!!!"

John, hearing the Greek professor's indecipherable accent for the first time: (faceplant into desk, plaintive wailing)

It was the hardest C- I ever earned in my life. The Japanese kids actually hired a translator to transcribe the lectures. As for me, well, it all remained Greek to me.

I also remember the professor calling me "very Republican" for saying that the gasoline tax disproportionately hurt poor people, which was news to me. And here I'd thought I was just poor.

I recall this class today because I also remember something useful: a recession is two consecutive quarters of negative GDP, and a depression is when it extends to six. This is eminently objective and measurable. So why are CNN and People magazine using public opinion polls to determine whether we're in a recession?

This is not the Sexiest Man Alive competition, folks. Diagnosis by poll respondents is beyond irrelevant. If you contract cancer, are you diagnosing that by Internet poll too?