I moved to Metamuville for the waters, yes, but also for the isolation. I'd had my fill of rich, white Microsoft types whining about pre-schools that cost 8x more than my college education. (Yes, that's a real number.) There's not much I can do about "white" in the Pacific Northwest, but "rich" and "Microsoft," I did something about. I put a 15 mile expanse of water between me and them.
It had the desired effect but was not without its costs. Seeing friends takes more effort, now, and I'm never casually invited to anything anymore. There are no impromptu movies. No drinks after work. No "Say, we're BBQing tonight. Want me to throw a burger on for you?" I didn't anticipate the loss of that stuff, but it only makes sense, right? That's the baby thrown out with the bathwater.
But there's a darker consequence I'm only now becoming aware of. For the last year, I've worked from home on a team of telecommuters. I have one co-worker in the state of Washington. Meetings are a thing of the past. In short, I have consolidated control over nearly every aspect of my life. I completely control my environment. If something bothers me, it is my fault. I should have it removed. I do have it removed. I live a soft life of comfort, nearly devoid of discomfort, conflict or assholes.
Nearly.
Then I have to buy a couch, and I'm thrust into a place that is now somewhat alien to me. That place is "the real world." Assholes and agitators abound, and I find myself increasingly ill-equipped to deal with them. I find their very presence in my life disorienting, and oh, do I resent their breathing my air. It turns out that tolerance is a muscle that can atrophy. I am flabby in a way few dream. When it comes to dealing with these sorts of folks, I am a wheezing, cramping, stumbling mess. I'm Gabrielle Andersen-Scheiss (1:09 here).
My grocery store is presently remodeling. I am annoyed by this. Last night I was agitated because I couldn't find Brie. Yes, I was actually angry that someone moved my cheese. I suddenly felt ancient. Is this what happens to old folks? Good lord. Is this what made Percy Percy?