I've written on this topic several times and gotten no responses, which usually means I'm on the cutting edge of insanity. Onward.
I've noted two obnoxious new trends in customer "service."
The Bad Lawyer
Home Depot drones no longer ask yes or no questions. "Can I help you find something?" might ellicit a "No," after all, and we can't have that. And thus am I squinting at a Pergo sample suspended some 15 feet in the air, in a shadow, trying to determine how fake it looks.
"HIHOWCANIPROVIDEYOUWITHEXCELLENTCUSTOMERSERVICETODAY?" says the drone in my ear.
In that I actually had a use for her, my reply this time was civil. I pointed heavenward.
"That sample is really hard to see. And it's, you know, a $5000 purchase. I want to see it first."
"There's nothing I can really do about that. (turning to next guy) HIHOWCANIPROVIDEYOUWITHEXCELLENTCUSTOMERSERVICETODAY?"
The Argumentative Drive-through
"HIWELCOLMTOTHEPOULSBOMCDONALDS. HOWABOUTAHOTCARAMELLATTETODAY? PLEASEORDERWHENYOU'RREADY. (voice change) Hi, what can I get started for you?"
Seriously? How many levels of annoyed am I, and I haven't even started my order.
"I'd like a number 4 combo with a diet--"
"Do you want cheese on that?"
"No. And a diet--"
"Would you like a large? It's only $1.19 more."
"No. And please make my drink a--"
"What do you want to drink with that?"
"A diet coke."
"I'm sorry, did you say a number 4?"
"Yes."
"And what did you want to drink with that number 4?"
"A diet coke."
"Would you like a dessert item? How about a churro?"
"A diet coke."
By the time he's handing me my food, I would chew my own leg off to escape. But no, there's one more imposition to come: "THANKYOUFORCOMINGWASYOURSERVICEEXCELLENTTODAY?"
"The bloody DMV is more pleasant."
"Huh?"
"Never mind."