my dog is grosser than your dog, my dog is grosser than yours

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Dogs are famously vile, of course, but I dare say Dex does something unprecedentedly disgusting. If she hears me about to sneeze, she vaults out of her bed and positions herself wherever my nose is pointed. If I turn away, she lunges into the new blast zone. And when I sneeze, she positively basks in the mist, squinting her eyes with pleasure, breathing deep.

"Ahhh. That's good shit," she seems to say.