quitters

Dirt and I were discussing our plans for our own senior care. "If I have a brain tumor," he declared, "I'm treating it with a .38 slug."

I concurred, adding that if I'm able, I would also use that remedy for Alzheimer's, certain kinds of cancer, strokes, tweaked MCLs and stubbed toes. We glared at one another seriously. Jokes aside, I knew that for now, at least, we meant these words. We have no intention of reprising our parents' protracted suffering. Besides, there's nothing quite like living in Metamuville to make avoiding old age a priority.

I later shared this conversation with Dorkass, and I made a prediction: men our age will have the highest geriatric suicide rate in history.

"Yeah. Y'all ain't exactly the Greatest Generation, are you?"