I haven't commented on LeBron James' flight to Miami because I hate to feed media whores and, well, I don't care. I stopped being interested in the NBA when Magic and Bird and Jordan were succeeded by players consumed not with beating one another, but with raising their Q score.
LeBron, for those of you who do not watch sports, is a basketball prodigy. He went straight from high school to the NBA, playing for his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers. At 18, he called himself the Chosen One. He promised his lowly franchise a championship, and they adored him for it. Fairy tale stuff. The years passed, and he failed to deliver in the playoffs, and championships did not come. And when he become a free agent, he bolted his hometown team for Miami, where he would become a role player next to other superstars.
But he didn't merely bolt. He waited until Cleveland could not replace him with other free agents, then held an hour-long TV special called "The Decision" where he announced "I'm taking my talents to South Beach." He not only utterly fucked his adoring hometown fans, he went out of his way to humiliate them worldwide.
At the time, I thought it was narcissistic and classless, and I thought his legacy was now forever capped at "fantastic sidekick," a la Scottie Pippen. But I didn't hate LeBron. Even when he said the criticism of him was racist, I didn't fully hate him. Not until this week, when his new commercial aired. In it, he does what all assholes do when the lights come on and their nature is revealed: he claims victimhood.
Now, I hate him. I despise him. What a narcissistic, self-important, selfish, clueless, shameless, dickless, ringless loser marketing-puppet.
The fan response from Cleveland: