cracks

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I was wary of Anna's friendship from the start. She's got the two qualities I look for in a woman:

  • Beautiful
  • Married
"I will stop speaking to you if you screw this up," Allie said.

"Understood."

low-hanging-fruit.jpgBut bloom a friendship did, and, determined to start this off on the right note, I invited her, her husband and their kids over for dinner. All was apparently well. And then one night Anna and I were chatting when suddenly she went into confessional mode. Her husband had had an affair last year. Aw, crap.

"I will miss you," Allie said the next day, not entirely kidding.

The next time I saw the husband, I latched on to him to discuss football, and somehow we got to talking about the significant amounts of time Anna spends doing volunteer work. I told him how awesome I think he is for helping to accommodate all that time away from their home and kids. He snorted.

"I just had to put my foot down about that. When I've been working all day, I want a meal on the table and I don't want to have to deal with the kids n'shit. I said, 'You know, I'm sorry, but you are the woman. You need to take care of this shit,'" said the cheater of his wife, who incidentally also works all day.

I relayed this conversation to Allie. She sighed resignedly. "Seriously, what IS it with you?"

"It's a gift."

"See, I don't think it is."

Months have now passed, and if I had any nefarious designs, I obviously wouldn't be writing about Anna here. But all that backstory was necessary for you to fully appreciate how the following development makes me feel. A couple times a month, she and I will be talking, and I will make a remark, and she'll reply "That's exactly what my husband said! You two are so much alike, I swear!"

Charmed.

Charmed n'shit, even.