I just realized that Dex's first birthday is next month. Is it ever too soon to begin dreading the geriatric years and their incumbent expenses? I think not.
I'm also mortified that I've yet to perform a rite of critical importance: bestowing her middle name. What on earth am I supposed to yell when I discover Dex chewing the thumbsticks off my X-Box controller?
"Poindexter...um...Schmoindexter...get yer ass over here!"
This travesty cannot continue. I leave it to you trolls. What middle name goes with "Poindexter?"