There are two reasons to stay friends with your ex:
- you enjoy angrily arguing about earth-shattering things like whether you said "affect" or "effect" in 1994.
- you enjoy antagonizing them.
ME: "I'm in the new restaurant. Cute waitress with brown ponytail just introduced herself, told me her life story, asked for mine. Looks 25 if she's a day. Ring on finger. Full speed ahead!"ALLIE: "Kill me now."