the unshop4able

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It was a typical end-of-day-pointless-blather-call with Allie.

"So I'm reading Denis Leary's book called Why We Suck and—"

"Goddamn it, John!"

"Why?"

"I was hoping to get that for you for your birthday!"

And so it goes with me. Allie's lament for 14 years, now: I'm bloody impossible to buy anything for. Me not really being into self-deprivation, if I want something, I already have it. Your only chance is to get me 1) something so expensive that I don't want to spend the money or 2) something I'll like that I don't already know about.

Sorry, Allie. My fault for leaving the house that one time last month. I guess "too expensive" is your only option.