dating lesbian models

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That heading ought to get me some hits.

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I only date models. Just ask them.

Drill deeper, and you'll find that at 20, the manager of the local Bon Marche hired them to wear Bon Marche clothes in the Bon Marche while keeping an eye out for shoplifters. In the fourth grade, they were in a photo in a store's Sunday flyer. At 19, some photographer took their money and created a modeling portfolio. In high school, they were pictured in a charity calendar.

These are all real stories from my dating life. And what they have in common is being introduced with the clause "Back when I was a model..."

That this is needy is obvious, but needy of what? Of me thinking that they were once worthy of being objectified? It's not like men value the job title "model." Only the most superficial women do. It's like tiny feet. Men simply don't care. That's what certain other women value, not what we value. Stop it, already.

The latter day version of this is "back when I was a lesbian." Or back when they experimented. Attention, women born after 1974: having once been caught up in this particular fashion makes you no more unique or exotic than women your age who have a tattoo above their cracks.

Which is to say, all of you.

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