I just came across this, written by sociologist Martha Beck. Does this make anyone else think of someone they know?
Poignant, tragic, funny, outrageous --most of us have at least one story we tell (and retell) to explain our emotional bruises. But there's a big difference between understanding the past and being stuck in it.I regret to say this describes someone I know rather well. Other people's pity is her oxygen, her raison d'être, and collecting it is her only skill. A considerably marketable skill, at that.Self-pity, a dominant characteristic of sociopaths, is also the characteristic that differentiates heroic storytelling from psychological rumination. When you talk about your experiences to shed light, you may feel wrenching pain, grief, anger, or shame. Your audience may pity you, but not because you want them to.
Obsessing aloud, on the other hand, is a way of fishing for pity, a means of extorting attention.
And if someone dares say so, why, we should all feel sorry for her.