lunar punk'd

  • Posted on
  • by

I'm an Apollo junkie. As in the moon landings, not mythology. I've read just about every book on the subject, to the point where books seldom contain anything new to me. Yes, yes, I know all about how Neil Armstrong almost bought it on his Gemini flight and about how Wally Schirra had a head cold on Apollo 8. Yet on I read.

Now I'm cracking books written by engineers. Tom Kelly's book about Grumman, the designers of the lunar module, is especially dry. Like I care about what some engineer looked like? Really, the only interesting tidbit thus far is how Grumman struggled to find a hotel in 1962 Houston that would admit its black engineers. "We'll allow it," said one grudgingly. "So long as they don't enter through the lobby." The matter-of-factness of it is jarring to someone who wasn't alive in those times but who knows plenty of people who were.

"Chariots for Apollo," meanwhile, had two more jaw-dropping tidbits. Speaking of the mad moon-race with the Soviets, the authors speak of how paranoia about Soviet espionage on Apollo was rampant, but how in the end, "only a few Soviet spies" were found in the engineering program. Only! The best part, though, was perhaps the best practical joke you've never heard of. When the Soviets were seen to be building a rocket capable of carrying men around the moon, the mission of Apollo 8 was changed: we would go to lunar orbit instead of Earth orbit. NASA madly rushed. Shortly before the December launch, the Soviets surprisingly launched their own rocket around the moon. All this, I already knew. In the capsule were no men—we would indeed be the first—but a tape recording of Cosmonauts chatting with mission control. Purely to fuck with NASA. And full-scale panic ensued in Houston. I mean, come on! This is brilliant! How have we never heard about this?