For the most part, my dog Ed's old age has sucked. Specifically, it's sucked the cash right out of my wallet.
Rimshot!
The first thing to go was her hearing. It's a royal pain, especially when my once-obedient dog is trotting purposefully away from me toward traffic or rat poison or Katrina's neighbor's lawn.
But of her geriatric maladies, this is my favorite. For the first time ever, I can sneak up on her. No one is more surprised by this development than Ed. The gentlest tap on the shoulder yields complete cardiac arrest. Remember the opening credits for the show "Alice," when Vera is loading straws into a container and they just explode in every direction? It's exactly like that. Ed reflexively tries to bite me, but by the time her teeth reach where she was tapped, I've made a drink and retired to the other room.
I haven't had this much fun since she figured out the fake-throw trick.