Allie called last night to check on Ed, and during the conversation, a half-dozen emails from trolls trickled in. Each was checking on, or expressing best wishes for, Ed's recovery. "Not to seem ungrateful—"
"You already do."
"—but I swear to god, I could post that I sawed off my own head and no one would write."
Allie agreed.
"And man, if anything ever happened to Dorkass, there'd be a bloody outpouring of grief. There'd be prayer vigils. People worldwide would be leaving flowers outside Dorkistani embassies. And when Percy's shot-clock runs out, well, I expect nothing less than school closures."
And then she suggested that I post about my own fictitious illness, to compare response volumes. Not that I'm above pity-grasping theatrics, but no. But I don't need more data to know that I'm beaten. Ed is unbeatable. Even I like her more than me.